Downsizing- an evolving skill development!

I've been house sitting for 17 months for someone who has been offering missionary service for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It's been a mutually beneficial arrangement.

She's to arrive home in the coming days and after a quick hunt for a new home for myself, I began the process of moving my belongings to the smaller residence, a basement suite. I've downsized a couple of times over the years and find the simplification process quite pleasant, after it is completed!

I'd had my furnishings stored in her garage and could see them each day as I parked my vehicle. I could envision the space I'd require to meet my ongoing needs but found I'd underestimated the space I need for my "work" world to accompany me.



As an independent contractor I keep the records and files for the agencies I serve in my home office. But, as downsizing means simplifying my needs, this time I actually parted ways with my desk top computer and determined I'd learn to trust the laptop I'd purchased. I did purchase a back up drive system and I've used it a few times. Between that drive and thumb drives for various designated purposes I'm depending on my new system to not disappoint me. It's already been in for repairs twice in the first months of my ownership (which leaves me a bit disconcerted) but back-up systems truly are the key to personal information security - at least that's what I'm told.



I'm also a genealogist who believes in retaining paper copies of records. The volume of family history materials one collects over 40 years amounts to two filing cabinets, two large and two small storage boxes and multiple tote bags, enough to fill a good sized closet.



My son-in-law and two grandsons worked with a rental truck to move my furnishings and since that start I've made daily trips with smaller items in my car. While that may seem inefficient, downsizing is a process. It often requires measuring spaces (which I did do), and constant review as to the best locations for items in the new location.

As television viewers absorb the habits of "hoarders" they witness the process required for someone to let go of items they've collected and stored for a long time. While the volume and the strategies are a bit different for me, downsizing is a bit of an emotional process. Each item that may have seemed essential two years ago when it was packed away in storage, today is re-examined for its necessity in my changing world. Weighing and measuring each box or its contents for pertinency is key to coming to a comfort with the new and simplified world one designs out of necessity. My children know that I'm a bit of a nut when it comes to the paper records I retain, but we have an understanding that I'll do the best I can to rid myself of as much of the collection as possible before I leave mortality. I'd hate to have them stuck with trying to ascertain value for items or to have to eliminate the possessions I've treasured but they won't want. As I visit seniors in care facilities and realize how much more I must part with in the coming years, the task seems daunting. But I'm certainly learning how to do the job!

Lessons learned...

"If you haven't needed an item for 6 months you may discard it," may work for some people, but after housesitting, I'm aware of many items I've not used for the duration, but suddenly need now with relocation. That rule doesn't fit my circumstances.

"Determine if your need to retain an item is from emotional attachment or actual need," could be a necessity, but when I review boxes of photos, keepsakes (from my children), resource materials for my work (which I could probably discover on-line), I must admit I don't have this rule under complete control.

"Will it fit the evolving lifestyle?" is a question I ask myself repeatedly. It's a dandy approach when you go through your wardrobe to determine what clothes still fit and which ones are "hopefuls". I'm much better at discarding and dropping things off at Value Village. A few years ago I actually kept clothes in boxes for sizes in anticipation of my return to a former figure. I've now decided if I return to a former form of myself, I'll spend a few dollars and purchase new items.

Other rules seem to relate to independence and health concerns - for instance if I were to suddenly be incapable of caring for myself and living independently, my "household hoard" would be a problem - dishes, furnishings, files, etc. But, despite the early demise of most of my extended families, I've decided the Lord knows my habits and He'll provide me with an "impression" or a sense of necessity to do a sudden downsizing to save my family the burden. If He doesn't, I'll have a very tactful but firm conversation with him when we meet.

The bottom-line I've come to discover, is discarding parts of my lifestyle may bring blessings to someone else's. Some of the furniture that doesn't fit my world today has added comforts and convenience to other households - because I seldom send such items to the landfill.

Downsizing is an exercise and a discipline. It requires personal awareness of needs, constant determination to separate our wants from our needs and an awareness that the Lord knows our situation. Just as He fed the Children of Israel "manna" on a daily basis, he will provide for us as well. He's been really good with me about such matters. He readies me for change. For instance - I've been driving into a garage to thereafter enter the home I housesit. My new home requires my parking outside, entering a garage through a side door and then entering my apartment from another entry door. The garage based style I've become accustomed to has alleviated the discomfort I might have felt under other circumstances. It's all a matter of perspective.

Don't let downsizing intimidate you,

it really is a component of simplifying one's life and lifestyle!

It's as delightful as losing weight

if you've been dieting for some time - it feels GOOD!



A visit at Gramma's house

I recall visits made to elderly friends and relatives of my parents when I was a young child. I met one of my grandparents (the woman who had raised my mother) in my youth but she wasn't at all interested in myself or my brothers. Her generosity to each of us during the visit consisted of a sugar cube from her tea tray. I am not certain if her lack of contact with us that day was relative to her health, her disposition or her priorities, but we didn't connect or gain any association.



My other grandparents died before I ever knew them. I have photos of them. Grandfather Acheson was a fireman in the City of Winnipeg and my Grandmother - Geraldina (his wife) was a pleasant looking woman. She'd had three sons (one my father) before she died prematurely.

I have a photo of my matriarchal grandmother as well. She seemed fashionable and the image of her in roaring twenties garb has always given me a sense of curiousity about her. She also died at a young age leaving my mother and her sister behind.



There was never a grandparenting model or mentor from which I might construct my own style of grandparenting when the opportunity arose. I have loved each of my grandchildren as they've arrived and often produced hand-made quilts in celebration of their births, but I've not had the same close relationship with each of my grandchildren. I've failed at being a good grandmother to the grandchildren with whom I've not had close proximity. I could make excuses for those lost opportunities, but that would only add to my personal failure in the blessings they are in my life. Amid the children I've spent time with, I can readily identify the ones that are like myself or other family members. It's wonderful to see attributes pass along from one generation to another.

When my grandchildren visit I tend to be both a "spoiler" and a "ruler." I try and produce eatable treats (or purchase them depending on the tastes of the grandchildren), I purchase toys and gift them as well as retain a toy cupboard for their visiting entertainment. I gift books quite often because I've always valued them in my own life. AND, some of my grandchildren actually enjoy Gramma Dates with me or coming to my home for sleepovers.



It's challenging to understand each of them as unique young people. Tidbits of time with them somewhat limits my appreciating their style of loving, having fun and play. As they turn from toddlers into little people they become more open about their preferences for activities, meals, snacks and movies and that's been helpful. There is a fine balance between just becoming identified as the Gramma who gives endlessly in lieu of the one who prefers individual time with them to talk and learn about them. I've come to love dinosaur movies, surf boarding at the ocean and watching acquire skills musically, artistically and in negotiating skill sets.



Gramma's house...

One afternoon as a pair of my grandson's ran down the sidewalk pathway to the front doors of my apartment building, the older of the two called out to his younger brother, "Andrew, remember we have to be quiet - this is Gramma's house." I treasured his awareness that my home had different rules than his parent's home. It meant he was learning about my world as much as I was learning about his. 

All the grandchildren develop their own style of snuggling with me. Some climb on my lap and nuzzle. Others perch on my lap and request back and arm rubs (gentle) and slowly drift off to sleep. I've shared beds with some of the grandchildren. It's meant learning to sleep on a sliver of mattress so their rest wasn't disturbed in a new environment. But in the morning they each announced a good sleep and sought their favorite breakfast items. When funds can afford it, breakfast might even mean a trip to MacDonalds and a playland experience, other times it's meant pancakes with ice cream topping. 

I don't know what my grandchildren will say about me as they turn in to young adults, but I hope they will recall some good memories - more than I had to fall back on. I know they may feel like my rules meant restrictions, but I've softened over the years and it's helped as they've determined to understand "why" some rules exist. 

This is Easter weekend and I've had a few reports from grandchildren about their family events. I'm learning one reality, they each grow up and as they do so, the requests to have their needs met changes. This week I was asked to help one of the teenagers learn how to "jive" for a dance competition he wanted to attend. His report to me on Sunday morning made it sound like he had a wonderful time with his peers, especially the young ladies. His mother invested more than I did in the dance instruction, but I was pleased to be invited to participate.



I hope my role evolves in such a way that I can eventually have more time and energy available for them all. I also hope one day to become better acquainted with the grandchildren that live at a distance. I know my mother demanded my Dad drive her annually from one house full of grandchildren to another. She'd make some of her favorite meals, share a few stories and seemed relieved when she and Dad climbed into their vehicle to head off alone to the next household. She worked at staying connected with her children and their children. I'm mindful that letters, cards and gifts would perhaps be appreciated, and I should make more of those efforts when travel isn't as possible. All my grandchildren are precious and remarkable and I know if I don't take the opportunity to tell them so, they may never know that I love them!